I received a call one night after church some years ago to go and retrieve a family of the congregation who had been involved in an auto accident. Another of the members and I drove north for about sixty miles to get the stranded family. I remarked on the way to my companion, "I believe I know what happened. I believe our brother was driving too close and probably ran into the car in front of him." When we arrived this was precisely what had happened. He had totalled out his new car by tailgating the car in front of him.

The reason I suspected this was because I had ridden with the man a number of times. When he became impatient, he drove very close to the car in front. It was only a matter of time until the right set of circumstances occurred when an accident would be inevitable.

Have you ever thought that people who have many car accidents are making the same mistakes over and over again? They are not learning from the things they are doing wrong.

When our recurrent "accidents" in human relations begin to assume a pattern, we would do well to ask ourselves a question, "What am I doing to cause this same 'collision' between myself and others?" If I recurrently bang up fenders on my car, something is wrong with my driving. If I am constantly getting into squabbles with other people, something is wrong with my speaking and thinking habits.

The law of averages would suggest that almost anyone will have some kind of auto accident over a lifetime. And almost everyone will have some kind of falling out in terms of human relationships. But those who are constantly at odds with others, need to ask themselves some questions like the following:

• Am I a paranoiac thinker? Do I have unrealistic suspicions about the thoughts and meanings of the words of others.
• Am I an un-OK person? Do I have such a small sense of my own personal worth that I interpret almost anything as a critical evaluation of me? Am I a defensive person? Am I always protecting my limited self-worth from what I imagine to be other people's criticisms?
• Am I a very critical person? Do I alienate and bruise people around me by my harsh attitudes?
• Am I an unappreciative person? Do I thoughtlessly take the kindness and services of others for granted?
• Am I an angry and belligerent person? (Or do I sound that way; the effect is the same.) Do people take issue with me because they are reacting to my threatening tones?
• Am I a non-listener? Am I so self-absorbed that I never really try to understand what the other fellow is saying?
• Am I selfish and self-concerned? Do I feel little or no responsibility for others?
• Do I really dislike most people or do I mostly disapprove of most people most of the time?
• Am I insincere? Do I mask my true feelings?
• Am I vengeful and unforgiving?

If I am any combination of the above qualities, it should be no surprise that I have strained relationships with a great many people. I have become an accident looking for a place to happen.